Wednesday was a rough day for everyone here. Mom and Dad spent most of the day trying to comfort one another but with little success. Instead of helping to douse the others pain and sorrow we seem to fuel it.

Since his last surgery he has been pretty much cold out of it and his body is struggling to keep up with all the hardships of surgery and his condition. The doctors expected a lot of struggle in his little body from this but he has surpassed their exceptions in some areas, and has fallen short in others. It is so hard to seem him struggle as these are some very critical times.

The doctors are doing all they can to save his gut that is out because once it is gone, its done. These organs play such a vital role in each of us that it would detrimental to lose them. So we pray heavily for him and his doctors.

They had us sign some release forms around 1am last night so they can place a 'pick' line in him that will take place of the IV's. These pick lines last much longer (weeks) as compared to the IV's he has that have to be moved and changed often (hours). These IV's are also a major cause of much of his struggle so it is important that they figure something out until they are able to put a more permanent IV in his chest/heart area that he will use to live off of for a few months.

Sadly the doctors tried their best but couldn't get the pick line in and work properly, so he has to stay on IV's. The trauma from trying to get the line in as well as from the previous surgeries have left Rowan in a very difficult state. The nurses and doctors don't want anyone around him for most all of the day if not longer. That means mom and dad too. They want him to have as much a chance as possible to pull out of this.

The nurse also mentioned to us that his circulation has not been what they had wished for. His core is staying warm with blood flow but his extremeties are cold signifying that blood is not flowing properly. Mike asked if that means that blood is still filling up in his intestines inside the silo and not exiting. The nurse (being LDS as well and having grown close to us and Rowan) nodded her head but said that there are some things they just can't tell us.

So all in all it has been a hard time for us but we are trying to look on the up side with all hope and faith.

As for mommy - she has been healing well with some pain only when the med's begin to wear off lol. So they try and stay ahead of the pain and keep dosing her up. Not only is she having to deal with the pain from her surgery but she has also been pumping to save all the milk she can for Rowan when he is finally able to eat. But this too has lead to much pain for her. Luckly for her it has gotten better with time and so has her supply! Daddy had to make a quick trip to the store even to get some larger support for Momma's HUGE D-licious milk makers. She's having a love hate relationship with them at the moment.

As for Daddy - He is just trying to hang in there and keep everyone up to date. He has been in the hospital with everyone day and night sleeping on the futon. It is over 100 degrees outside but he walks around in the hospital in long pj's and a jacket because of the cold temp Mommy keeps the room at (55 degrees - as cold as the AC goes!). Plus all the hand washing to get into the NICU every 30 minutes with freezing cold water doesn't help either.

This has been a humbling time for us as we know there is no amount of money that can save him nor is there anything we can physically do. It is up to Heavenly Father is all.